Active Listening
by Beverly Grose

Listening, like all communication skills, is challenging. We think faster than another person can speak, and this can create problems in communication, but also offers wonderful opportunities. The opportunity to really listen is called active listening. While we process what a speaker is saying, we're not supposed to be zoning out or thinking about what we're going to say next. In active listening, we focus on the speaker. We're supposed to be listening and making eye contact while we concentrate on what he or she is saying. When the speaker stops talking, we paraphrase what the speaker said to make sure we really understood the comments.

Now this is not easy when we want to break in with advice or a judgmental reaction. Even praise, at times, can seem patronizing and belittling to a speaker's genuine concerns. The best book on active listening is one of the classics on listening published by Thomas Gordon in 1974. For teachers, his book Teacher Effectiveness Training provides excellent information on active listening skills. If you decide to read the reviews from Amazon about "Teacher Effectiveness Training," you will realize everything is, indeed, an argument. Some reviewers love the active listening process; other experienced teachers absolutely hate it and express important reasons why they don't like active listening. Personally, I think the book is excellent; however, the active listening process doesn't fit all occasions. Still, when Gordon suggests that we truly listen empathetically to the person speaking and avoid an immediate reactive response, this seems like excellent advice for certain situations.

Visit Thomas Gordon's web site and read four free articles for teachers.

Other Listening web sites

• The University of Nebraska
  The University of Nebraska at Lincoln offers these online lessons in Communication. Lesson 2 gives examples of the ways we can respond that may make people feel misunderstood.
• Lesson 3 from The University of Nebraska
  Lesson 3 gives examples of ways to effectively communicate.
• University of Colorado
  The University of Colorado offers this excellent web site - the International Online Training Program On Intractable Conflict supported by the United States Institute of Peace and the William and Flora Hewlett Foundation
• Northwestern University
  This web page offers detailed information about characteristics of good feedback.
• Listening Articles from the Wall Street Journal Career Center
  This Wall Street Journal career web page offers an interesting article with an accompanying quiz.

Some other well-reviewed books on listening and communicating include:

• Difficult Conversations by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen offers advice for handling unpleasant exchanges in a manner that accomplishes their objective and diminishes the possibility that anyone will be needlessly hurt. The authors are associated with Harvard Law School and the Harvard Project on Negotiation.
• Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High by Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, Al Switzler, Stephen R. Covey offers readers a proven seven-point strategy for achieving their goals in all those emotionally, psychologically, or legally charged situations that can arise in their professional and personal lives.
• Coward's Guide to Conflict: Empowering Solutions for Those Who Would Rather Run Than Fight by Tim Ursiny

Provided by:
Beverly Grose, a M. A. student at The University of Texas at Dallas where she specializes in Studies in Literature. She earned a B. A. in English and Secondary Education from the University of Charleston. She has worked as a newspaper reporter, health educator, multimedia training developer and currently, teaches Introduction to Multimedia at Richland College.