© Wendy Cope

Triolet

I used to think all poets were Byronic--
Mad, bad and dangerous to know.
And then I met a few.  Yes it's ironic--
I used to think all poets were Byronic.
They're mostly wicked as a ginless tonic
And wild as pension plans. Not long ago
I used to think all poets were Byronic--
Mad, bad and dangerous to know.

Emily Dickinson

Higgledy-piggledy
Emily Dickinson
Liked to use dashes
Instead of full stops.

Nowadays, faced with such
Idiosyncrasy,
Critics and editors
Send for the cops.

From Strugnell's Sonnets
            for D.M. Thomas

The expense of spirits is a crying shame,
So is the cost of wine.  What bard today
Can live like old Khayyam?  It's not the same--
A loaf and Thou and Tesco's Beaujolais.
I had this bird called Sharon.  Fond of gin--
Could knock back six or seven.  At the price
I paid a high wage for each hour of sin
And that was why I only had her twice.
Then there was Tracy, who drank rum and Coke.
So beautiful I didn't  mind at first
But love grows colder.  Now some other bloke
Is subsidizing Tracy and her thirst.
I need a woman, honest and sincere,
Who'll come across on half a pint of beer.

A Nursery Rhyme
      as if it might have been written byT.S. Eliot

Because time will not run backwards
Because time
Because time will not run
                                                Hickory dickory

In the last minute of the first hour
I saw the mouse ascend the ancient timepiece,
Claws whispering like wind in dry hyacinths.

One o'clock,
The street lamp said,
'Remark the mouse that races toward the carpet.'

And the unstilled wheel still turning
                                                               Hickory dickory
                                                                 Hickory dickory
dock

Waste Land Limericks

I.
In April one seldom feels cheerful;
Dry stones, sun and dust make me fearful;
Clairvoyants distress me,
Commuters depress me--
Met Stetson and gave him an earful.

II.
She sat on a mighty fine chair,
Sparks flew as she tidied her hair;
She asks many questions,
I make few suggestions--
Bad as Albert and Lil--what a pair!

III.
The Thames runs, bones rattle, rats creep;
Tiresias fancies a peep--
A typist is laid,
A record is played--
Wei la la.  After this it gets deep.

IV.
A Phoenician called Phlebas forgot
About birds and his business--the lot.
Which is no surprise,
Since he met his demise
And was left in the ocean to rot.

V.
No water.  Dry rocks and dry throats.
Then thunder, a shower of quotes!
From The Sanskrit to Dante.
Da. Damyata.  Shantih.
I hope you'll make sense of the notes.
 
 

Strugnell's Haiku
(i)
The cherry blossom
in my neighbors garden--Oh!
IT looks really nice.

(ii)
The leaves have fallen
And the snow has fallen and
Soon my hair also . . . . .

(iii)
November evening:
The moon is up, rooks settle,
The pubs are open.

From Strugnell's Ribaiyat
1
Awake! for Morning on te Pitch of Night
Has whistled and has put the stars to flight!
The incandescent football in the East
Has brought the Splender of Tulse Hill to Light.

7.
Another Pint! Come, loosen up, have Fun!
Fling off your Hang-Ups and enjoy the Sun:
Time's Spacecraft all too soon will carry you
Away--and Lo! The Countdown has begun.

11.
Here with a bag of Crisps beneath the Bough,
A Can of Beer, a Radio--and Thou
Beside me half-asleep in Brockwell Park
And Brockwell Park is Paradise enow.

12
Some Men to everlasting bliss aspire.
Their lives, Auditions for te heavenly Choir:
Oh, use your Credit Card and waive the Rest--
Brave Music of a distant Amplifier!

Reading Scheme

Here is Peter. Here is Jane.  They like fun.
Jane has a big doll.  Peter has a ball.
Look, Jane, look! Look at the dog!  See him run!

Here is Mummy.  She has baked a bun.
Here is the milkman.  He has come to call.
Here is Peter.Here is Jane.  They like fun

Go Peter! Go Jane! Come, milkman, come!
The milkman likes Mummy.  She likes them all
Look, Jane, look! Look at the dog!  See him run!

Here are the curtains.  They shut out the sun.
Let us peep!  On tiptoe Jane!  You are small!
Here is Peter.  Here is Jane.  They like fun.

I hear a car, Jane.  The milkman looks glum.
Here is Daddy in his car.  Daddy is tall.
Look, Jane, look! Look at the dog!  See him run!

Daddy looks very cross.  has he a gun?
Up milkman1 Up milkman1 Over the wall!
Here is Jane.  They like fun.
Look, Jane, look! Look at the dog!  See him run!

If you liked the poetry of Wendy Cope you should also like the poetry of Philip Larkin.