Amtgard Light Bulb Jokes

This list is not canonical. It was originally compiled in the late 1990's, before Neverwinter was a kingdom and before Rising Winds was even a duchy under EH. Nor does it even reflect all the groups which were around at the time, though it does reflect a few which have since disappeared from the game altogether (their jokes are kept here for nostalgia).

If you're feeling left out because your particular group is not included on the list, you are welcome to come up with a punchline or two for your group and send them to me. I will not promise immediate updates of the site, and I reserve the right to not include them if they don't look like they would amuse anyone, but it's worth a shot, right? And with all that said...

How many Justicars does it take to change a lightbulb?

1. Four. One to change the lightbulb and three to provide historic documentation that yes, it's legal to use a compact fluorescent bulb in this socket. People will still complain, though.

How many Corsairs does it take to change a lightbulb?

1. It only takes one Corsair to call light.
2. None; they just steal someone else's.
3. Only one, but the rest have to get ****** up enough to make the room spin....

How many Nel'Fray does it take to screw in a light bulb?

1. 30, One to do it, and 29 to plot out all the contingency plans.
2. Just one, but it takes all of them and half the morning to get the lightbulb back from the Corsairs....

How many members of the previous monarchy does it take to change a lightbulb?

1. We had a previous monarchy??
2. None, it can wait till the next Coronation if it's waited this long.

How many Saracens does it take to change a lightbulb?

1. More.
2. It takes all of them, they can only do so at Clan, and they have to eat the dead bulb afterward.
3. Ten to do it, and Kahl Methwyn to brag about how the Saracens are the best damned light-bulb changing company out there.

How many Legionnaires (Claw Legion) does it take to change a lightbulb?

1. Two. One to do it and Aramithris to express concern that more people aren't making this kind of contribution to the well-being of the game.
2. None. Because back in our day, it was dark. The sun hadn't formed yet. And that's the way we liked it!
3. Just one. S/He just holds it up and waits for the world to revolve around him/her.

How many Darkjesters does it take to change a lightbulb?

1. None. It's easier to hide in the dark.

How many Chosen does it take to change a lightbulb?

1. They can't. One will decide it can't be allowed and the rest will circulate the petition banning lightbulbs.

How many Wardancers does it take to change a lightbulb?

1. Two. One to do it and one to yell "Lightbulb behind!" at the socket.

How many Crawling Chaos~ does it take to change a lightbulb?

1. One member is sufficient to act with the full authority of the company.
2. One. And he will duly complain afterwards about not receiving the recognition he deserves.
3. Just one, but then he finds himself constantly getting stuck with the job.

How many Golden Lions does it take to screw in a light bulb?

1. All of them, just to make sure someone shows up who cares...

How many knights does it take to change a light bulb?

1. Hey, squire! Go over there and change that light bulb. And get me a beer while you're at it!